As she waited for the midnight train she wished for impossible things.
The quiet surrounds her
Like a bitter whiskey shot
Her scars have long been healed
Her long night prayers answered
Higher powers to lean on
To release her burdens on.
She waits for the midnight train with a stone cold face.
In the bitter winters night
The tempo of her thoughts change from constant to
Erratic like they’re being guided by an off-tune metronome
Hard to focus on just one
So she stops thinking.
She was brought back by the therapy of
the blaring horn of the one-way train to
“Anywhere but here.”
Loading up what’s left of her, she boards.
Flashing lights indicating departure
Moving street lights signifying the light in darkness
Like the born-again messiah of the never-ending torment of her mind.
“Feels like treading water.”
She thought as she looks about the half-empty train wondering what they thought of her
“Could they see through my mask
into my head
and straight through my weeping soul?”
“Stop.” she told herself,
“Tonight is the night it is all being let go.”
She felt lost at sea.
Hoping to go only somewhere not even she knows
To never be caught
She hoped to make you proud
Even though you’d never know.
“It’s time for me to go
You would say I’m doing it wrong
You would beg and plead and weep at my feet
for just a second with my thoughts
But that’s not the case anymore. “
As she thought
Her hands got sweaty
“No turning back.”
All the places we won’t walk
All the things we left unsaid
Were meant to be taken by the wind of the harsh winter.
As she sat back and close her eyes she began to feel again.
As the midnight train drove off into the night’s horizon
She accepted what She should’ve done months ago
She chose herself over you.
Gabriela A Tejada
*inspired by Sam Smith*
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